Alright let me get to the chase because i did of course type three different posts, it’s manly because of how i was feeling in the moment i guess. Jordan is very hard to explain right now but i dont exactly know how i should be right now. I confront him about something we talked about before i left for my trip but he tells me a promise but ive been back for four days and hes already broken the promise today… i was hoping to see him today because I have missed him and i really like him but right now im in a stage where i dont know exactly how I should treat this situation because my friends tell me something different and he makes me think differently about him… he hasn’t done anything exactly wrong but someone promises me something i take it personally but when he promised he didn’t keep it… 

Im in need of advice and help from this situation and help me solve my issues before i go insane again.

Love always,



I know that this is my third post today but ive been having an attack in my body and that just drove me insane thinking many things that I wish I didn’t know about but i tried talking to my friend harry and a part of me when I don’t respond to his calls but read his text message i want harry to inform jordan the situation and he texts or call me but i still wont pick up. I need to find an excuse if one of them does show up… it has to be good bc i told both of them that im alone, but im not alone bc my family is home… oh well i feel like they will forget about that detail… wish me luck on to whatever my sceem of a plan i have right now…


I don’t know what he thinks sometimes mostly all the time. I sometimes just don’t believe he wants what i want and that hes just gonna use me like the rest of them do. Ive been crying just now and im starting to think why am i an idiot from another demention and cant figure what the hell im doing in life. Just fuck me for everything godamn it. Please help me with any opinions to what i should do bc I just don’t know anymore. No ones been helping me anymore. Ever since i left for a trip things have changed and not in a good way sadly. I want it all back…

Update: one

Hey guys its been awhile since my last post… sorry about that. I have some stories and secrets I have to share from these past months… alright this stuff can be embarrassing for a sixteen kinda seventeen year old. Also kinda illegal for a teen but then not, sorry not sure how to word this… alright so remember Johnny, yah, he dumped me for another girl, i figured it out anyway so he doesn’t know i know. He’s a bitch and an asshole and a jerk and everything bad in this goddamn world. Sorry im kinda fired right now with all my horrible language because i wasted my entire junior year on this boy that ruined seven months of my life. “Annoyed af”. Its okay because now this is the real shit im about to tell you… that week after Johnny had broken up with me, Friday night, let me bring up this guy first, his name can be Nate, i have been snap chatting him while i was dating Johnny okay so Friday night i snuck out and went over to his house and this has happened three times, every time we’ve hung things have progressed and i got fingered and eaten out, yes kinda gross but it was my first time. That has made me become more comfortable with myself and my body even though that this isn’t the right way to do it haha. Okay do ya’ll remember Jordan. Yup you guessed him hes my new boy. “Boo thang” as in my contacts haha, but yah were not dating yet but he’s a huge smoking weed guy but he’s actually sooo good looking and sooooo much better than Johnny because he gets me horny HAHAHAHAHA. And it hasn’t been long as for talking and i like absolutely amazing. AND WAIT FOR IT…  HE’S FUCKING LOYAL AF, HE TELLS ME HIMSELF AND WHAT MORE CAN I ASK MY GOSH. “Heart eyes emoji”. Alright this has my update part one of my life. I hope im interesting to you people and i hope i can become a blogger to be and people cant wait for my posts. Help me HAHAH. 

Love you always,


i don’t know and it’s bad

so there’s my boyfriend we’ll call him Johnny, Johnny has a bff named Andy, and friend named Jordan. I snapchat all of them… Johnny and i have a heart(:, i love him to death, we’ve been dating for four months now and it’s going good, and he’s bff Andy has been snapchattibg me a while and we have a good bond now but everytime im in first period with him i can’t stop looking at him! and it’s a small crush that idk what it is, but Johnnys other friend Jordan just resently started to snapchat me and i’m beginning to have a bigger crush on him, i literally make my way so he can see me and i can see him without him knowing i’m doing that… idk this is just bad and i need help on what to do:/. help…


This is my first blog post i guess so i’m gonna tell you everyday how my life is and what my thoughts are at the moment, even though i don’t have anyone reading this quite yet. I want your opinions on my life and how i should change myself for better. Thank you loves

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